I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I believe in your delicious
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize