Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
