i think i have herpe
just one?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
