just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
