im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ketchup is God's man juice
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
