I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
