Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
