Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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