That's intense
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
50% drunk capacity currently
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
