yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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