We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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