The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
