You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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