Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
FUCK WHALES
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
