I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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