Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize