I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
