You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just had sex on a roof
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
