New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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