You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We are two peas in an std pod
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
