I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
