I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
