Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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