I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
