hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
