you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
