im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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