you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
