I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
