He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
