I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
