just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
