he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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