i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize