Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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