But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
