I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
