Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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