My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
