Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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