i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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