I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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