I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
