Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
3 2 1 whiskey
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
