I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
