There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
