how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
