What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
