420 ftw
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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