well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
