if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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