I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
MIDGETS
????
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
