I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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