she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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