WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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