Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
