But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
this is an emotional support booty call
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
