you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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