Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
