Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize