What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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