Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
