I'm eating all of the evidence.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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