he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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