just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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