try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You were trust falling into bushes
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
