is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
where are you?
Hypothermia
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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