why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize