So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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