Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
