I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
