How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
