Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
