Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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