i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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