every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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