things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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